Sentimentality and Grieving the Loss of Your Pet

Last semester I took a poetry class in which we discussed the meaning of sentimentality--not seeing something for what it really is, or not acknowledging all aspects of something (like the positive AND the negative). Not one thing in this world is only one thing--it is never only this or only that. All things are multi-faceted, and we would be sentimentalizing something if we failed to recognize this. The example my poetry professor gave my class was that she loves children, but she would be sentimentalizing children if she were to say that they are always wonderful and do no wrong.

I remember my professor saying it is incredibly challenging to write a poem about children or animals without being sentimental. In the case of animals, we might place too much value on them or speak of them as though they are humans. Maybe it has become cliché to write about our pets (even if we do acknowledge the negative), but either way, I don't think we are placing too much value on them.

The issue of sentimentality and animals makes me think of my childhood cat, Woody. When my family decided to put him to sleep so he would no longer be in pain, some might say I acted sentimentally. (I cried the entire day). But when we lose our pet, it is like losing a family member or close friend because that is what they become to us. And I don't think there is anything sentimental or un-acknowledging about that.

I grew up with Woody; he was with my family since I was six--so when he was gone, it was strange and sad. It just seemed wrong for him not to be laying in his favorite rocking chair in the family room watching TV with us. I felt like I had lost my best friend. Throughout my teenage years, no matter what dramatic thing was going on in my life, I always had him to come home to.


Since I remember what it's like to lose a cat, I wanted to share these ideas for dealing with the loss of your pet:

1. Write a Letter--When I lost Woody, I remember feeling like he somehow knew how much my family loved him. But it can help to get all your thoughts onto paper, to tell your animal how much they mean to you. Don't feel silly; it's a great way to get it all out and feel closure.

2. Let Yourself Feel--Everyone deals with a loss in a different way. Don't stop yourself from feeling whatever you feel. It's not stupid to cry or feel sad.

3. Remind Yourself of the Good Things--As time goes on, every time you begin to feel upset about your loss, remind yourself that you gave your kitty a good home. If you had never adopted your cat and brought him or her into your home, there's a possibility they never would have found a forever home. Appreciate the time you got to share with them.

4. Remember Your Kitty--Don't be afraid to talk about your kitty once in a while, or remember those funny things they used to do (like drooling in the midst of a patting session). Almost three years later, my mom and I still mention Woody every now and then. But the thing is, we don't only remember the good things about him but also his quirky traits. We remember the things about him that maybe weren't perfect but that we loved nonetheless.

It's been almost three years since Woody left us, and I still think about him. I was ready to adopt another cat sooner than I did, but take your time. Everyone is different. Give yourself some time to grieve your loss and know that you can always give another kitty a loving home in the future.